Is it bad that I’ve been enjoying lockdown? Probably, but fuck it.

Ione Finn talks expectations, anxiety and reconnecting during lockdown.

I read an article the other day that Jennifer Aniston has said the exact same. Apparently she’s a bit of an agoraphobe, perhaps I am too. 

I think the thing I’m missing most is a good coffee. Aside from that I’m peachy keen. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve completely and utterly lost all track of the days – is it Wednesday, who can say! Is it acceptable to be getting out of bed a 2pm? Perhaps not. But there is something so enjoyable about having no time restrictions on bloody life. Get up when you want, eat when you want, shower when you want, do what you want!

I say all of this but there has been many a bad day amidst the good. The crippling anxiety of what the fuck will happen next. The feeling of complete depression and not wanting to get out of bed. Being super aggy and argumentative. But then I snap myself out of it – jeez this is all hard enough without making it even harder for myself. 

I remember reading something once about how as soon as you get up in the morning you should make your bed, because that tells your brain that you’ve already achieved something. And that’s what getting up and showered and dressed every day has been doing for me – its given me a sense of achievement. 

I’ve enjoyed going on solo walks, without having to dodge through everyone going about their day to day life. Enjoying the silence, looking around and taking in everything. Life, especially in the city centre, can become so damn busy and disconnected. It gives you time to take a step back. And I feel that’s exactly what everyone should take from this, it’s not about fucking becoming fluent in Russian, or suddenly being able to paint a masterpiece, it’s about being able to look at who you are and where you’re at. Be comfortable with it all. I have days where I feel disappointed in myself because I’ve done hardly anything, as I’m sure everyone reading this has. But blimey that’s okay! 

This was never going to be an easy time, but look around you – enjoy the sunshine (whilst it lasts), remember to put yourself first, and if you’ve not watched that series you said you would, read the book you promised you’d read or done that sodding gym class, you probs never will!

Photo by @plqml // felipe pelaquim on Unsplash

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